Thursday, May 22, 2008

Got some windows


My windows are finished! They were my biggest hold up with this block! Yay - I feel satisfied! Now I need to only fill in the rest of the bricks, which is mindless work, and this block will be finished!

I have found myself really struggling lately. As some of you know, I am a psychotherapist. When I went to school, I envisioned myself working in a nice cushy office with a rich population. Well, I got a nice office, but work in a poverty stricken city with clients on state insurance. I want to share, because writing is cathartic, that I am getting really depressed... and am so thankful for my stitching friends who bring me such comfort. My clients are starving and are losing their homes. I hear sadness, grief and hopelessness all day long. The current state of the world, and the US in particular (only because I am only intimately familiar with the US economic situation), has affected my clients so deeply and I am feeling so much for them, losing sleep and cannot stop feeling my own level of personal grief and hopelessness. Thank you again, my friends, for being there. I can count on little right now, but I can certainly count on you. I appreciate you very much.

Stitched on today: Started a gift, and Houses of Hawk Run Hollow

36 comments:

Marie-P said...

I am not too sure that I could do what you do Carol. It must be very difficult to listen to people express their troubles and concerns on a daily basis. This would probably suck the energy from me. You must be a very compassionate person!
Thank goodness for needlework, it is my therapy. I would imagine that it helps you relax so....stitch, stitch, stitch! :)
Your progress on HoHRH is wonderful.
Have a relaxing/enjoyable weekend.

Margaret said...

Carol, how hard for you. I know I'm way over the otherside of the world and have never met but everyday I look at your blog and marvel at what you do. I feel so thankful to you for your inspiration and that through you and your blog I have 'met' so many interesting people and learned so much about stitching Hugs and kisses from Margaret S

Dianne said...

That must be the hardest job! I would say do a little volunteer work, donate canned food, any little thing. I have a feeling you've done this in the past away. I use to volunteer at church and when Sean was little and it felt like I was giving a piece of myself back to the community. That's why I like charity stitching too.

Melody said...

Carol, I admire you for your work. It can't be easy listening to troubles all the time. Stitching can be such a refuge from the problems of life. We need to find our joy to stay sane. Love the HoHRH piece. I recently finished the Village of Hawks Run Hollow. Have a good holiday weekend.

karenv said...

I feel down sometimes just reading the news headlines online - so many dreadful things happening - but I can choose not to read if I wish. You have no choice in the matter and I can only imagine how hard it is for you. Remember that we are here for you if you need to let off steam and as Marie says, keep stitching, because it is good therapy in itself.

I love your block on HoHRH - so nearly done with this one now!

Nic said...

I used to be a Samaritan volunteer (www.samaritans.org)and listening to distressed people twice a week was enough - I stopped after five years because I felt "burnt out", I know that I would struggle if it was my profession - you have my utmost admiration!

I'm sure that you are making a positive difference to your client's lives - you can't do much about the economy, or the business practices which led to the meltdown, but you can help these people cope with it all.

Brigitte said...

It's a hard and difficult job that you do, particularly in these times. (((((((Carol)))))))) So I'll secon what the others say: stitch as much as you can :))

Your houses are coming along great and I love to see your progress pictures on it. Your blog is always so motivating.

Gill said...

Awww Carol...I wish I could give you a great big hug for real but unfortunately a virtual one is all I can offer {{hugs}}. It must be very difficult dealing with all that on a daily basis.

Rowyn said...

Oh Carol, this makes me so sad. You do so much to bring joy to other peoples lives. Sending hugs your way.

xstitch.nl said...

I am so sorry that the wonderful work you do is taken such a toll on you at the moment! I hope the weekend will provide some peace and energy for you. Take good care of yourself!!

Isabelle said...

(((((Carol)))))
Sending lots of love.
I am sure you make a huge difference in your patients' lives.

cathymk said...

I think the ladies have said it all - sending a big warm hug from Down under.

I just love how this block on HoHRH is turning out.

stitchhappy said...

Carol, I know how hard it is for a compassionate person like yourself to watch people suffering so deeply. "Critical times hard to deal with" are upon us and people all over are in difficult circumstances in one way or another. I don't know about you, but if I'm not undergoing some difficulty myself, I feel guilty because I'm not suffering as much as so many others. Take heart in knowing that you do much more good than you realize, both with your clients and your friends (including all your online friends which must number in the hundreds if not thousands)brightening our days with your kindness. Fortify yourself with the love of your friends and soothe yoursef wth the therapy of stitching. I have only a virtual hug for you...but you can "feel" it everytime you read it!
Hugs, Sharon M

ollie1976 said...

Carol-

I know exactly what you mean. I'm a social worker dealing with substance abuse/mentally ill teenagers and their families. Hang in there and know that I'm right with ya.

-Jen

Cathy said...

It's so hard, especially now that even the middle class is becoming poor and struggling to make ends meet. It shows your character that you are feeling for these people and have not hardened after hearing their struggles over the years.

Try to take some time to de-stress and definitely to unload some of the sad stories, even if it means journaling (obviously you can't write about it here). I'll be thinking of you.

Hazel said...

Dear sweet Carol!!! I don't envy you in your position. It makes me realise how blessed I am. When I look at the news and see the current situ in China my heart goes out to people. There can be hope though even in poverty. "A merry heart doeth good like medicine" the Bible says and these people sound like they need a big dose of joy! Don't lose hope Carol. They come to you for hope, give them some hope and joy. Even a smiling face, a hug or a prayer can do so much. Hugsxxxx

Karoline said...

{{{{Carol}}}} I know from my own work just how disheartening looking at the big picture can be but I'm sure you are making a real difference to your clients lives.

HoHRH is looking gorgeous, great progress

Christine said...

Carol,
I've been a "lurker" for a few months, enjoying looking at your stitchery and seeing the love that you put into it. God tells us to not lose heart or give up, so keep trusting that what you are doing is making a difference - it may not seem like it, but you are.

I feel like I've gotten to know you a little, and if you don't mind excepting a hug from a stranger, consider yourself cyber-hugged. I, too, find cross-stitching, along with crocheting, therapeutic, and if you want to see some of what I've made I have some pictures on my blog.

I've thought about asking to join in on some of these exchanges and round-robins, but I'm afraid I don't have much time to stitch so I would get things done too slowly to keep up with the deadlines. I only know how to do counted cross-stitch, though I have a stamped pattern I'm going to try soon. Thanks for sharing your beautiful work, and for teaching me a few things about cross-stitching!

Take care,
Christine Myers

Kim B said...

Oh Carol - that must be so difficult for you to spend your days watching others go through terrible struggles and hard times. You are clearly sacrificing some of your own inner peace caring for others. That is such an incredibly giving and loving thing for you to do! I know it's really no consolation but you are a very compassionate person.

Stitches 'N' Stones said...

What a difference you make in their lives, that they are able to vent and to know that you care. I work for a church and do a lot of volunteering at shelters and the pain and need in this world is so often overwhelming to me. Know that you are doing your part to help by listening and loving them and wanting a better future for them. No, it won't save their house, but at least they know they are not alone. And from the homeless that I have worked with, that is a precious gift. Perhaps you can start a support group for some of them?

Linda K's Creativity Works said...

Carol...I know what you are saying...my town that I live in...we have lots of poverty stricken families and the only thing that is helping them is the Food Pantry and Food Stamps. Otherwise they would not be making it either and maybe some of them are not making it...who knows.

I feel for you and it's hard to work in a place that you have to deal with poor people all of the time who doesn't have enough to live on and it is a terrible shame too and naturally you would feel depressed because you can do all you can for those people and that is it and it makes you feel helpless that you can't do more for them.

You are doing a great job on your WIP...and I love those houses too...I have that in my Stash and hopefully sometime this year or next year I can get it started.

Take care & Happy Stitching

Carla said...

((((big hugs))))

Jennifer said...

I know how you feel - sometimes I have to shut off the TV and stop reading the news because I just can't take any more bad news or hopelessness. I feel terrible for you because you can't really step away from it - it's your job, and you know you have to listen to this day in and day out to help these people.

I know it's rough going for you, so I'm sendng a big hug your way. Try to be as good to yourself as you can, and most importantly, count your blessings on a daily basis. I found keeping a gratitude journal, and focusing on at least 5 things I was thankful for each day really helped keep my spirits up when I was feeling especially down about things. Remember to give enough time and attention to the good things in life.

Barbeeque4 said...

{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}} from way out west!!!!

edgar

Robin said...

It is because you care so deeply that you can be so empathetic to your clients. Remember just by LISTENING (and you do much more than that) you have done more than
most people in their lives. Take comfort in that and remember to take care of yourself too! Hugs to you!
(((((Carol))))

BeckySC said...

Just sending you some hugs, Carol, as you already know what I think :)
((((((hugs))))))
Hang in there :)

Janaina said...

Now close your eyes and imagine me giving you the biggest hug ever. Can you feel it? Long minutes ,spent in just one hug. Hope you are smiling now. I am. =)
Love you!

Mary said...

I can only imagine how hard it must be to sit there and listen and not be able to fix their problems. But you are doing a great thing just listening to them and not having them hold it all in until it become super dangerous for them mentally.
Thanks for being there for them.
Hugs!

valerie said...

Awww, Carol. Big hugs! I know if must be difficult to listen to such sadness and difficulties day in and day out but know that you are most likely that tieline to hope to so many people that things will turn around for them. It just takes time, patience and a little faith. Hang in there...

Barbara said...

Hi Carol - I'm a day behind with blog reading (again) but I wanted to pitch my two cents in.

What you do deserves no end of praise - trying to help people, so in the future they can help themselves. It's got to be so incredibly draining - and to whom does the therapist turn when in need of comfort and direction? I started off studying psychology, but a couple of years into the study, I realized that I did not have what it takes to do this as a career. For what little comfort it is worth, you've certainly got my admiration and respect.

Susimac said...

BIG Hugs coming to you from the UK - You will be making a difference to your clients lives and being there for them is I know your job, but its a good job. Take respite in your stitching and the love of your family and friends which is plentiful - you do make a difference you know :-))
Hope that you have a good weekend and re-charge your batteries for next week.

Susan said...

I know I'm a little late, but I wanted to send you {{{hugs}}} - it sounds like you could use some. I can only imagine how tough it must be to do your job.

stitcherw said...

What you do would be so hard. As others have said, I don't think I could do what you do, to hear and have to deal with individuals that are having such troubles. There are enough challenges and difficulties anyway without all the extra ones the economy and such are causing people to have to deal with. It would be so hard, and also cause such a feeling of helplessness in so many cases, to hear what people are telling you. I don't see how you could avoid being depressed on their behalf. Hopefully things improve soon for your clients, as well as for others, and things begin to go easier for you as well. Even if you can't fix things, being able for them to have someone to talk to that will listen and is non-judgemental is a huge help. {{hugs}}
Sue

Sharon said...

Carol, I can't imagine doing what you do everyday and maintain your sanity. Though it is hard-it would probably be so much harder for them if they didn't have you to tell their troubles to.

As a nurse I see lots of that-have had homeless moms with new babies etc. You do the best you can for them and hope that what you do will make a difference in the here and now.

Your block looks wonderful!

Jenna said...

I'm a bit late to the commenting of this post, but I, too, admire what you do for a living, Carol. I've had thoughts of becoming a psychotherapist from time to time, but easily talked myself out of it for the exact reasons that you are struggling with right now. Be good to yourself and be grateful for what you have in your life. *hug*

Michelle said...

Your little house is looking great - those bricks will be done in no time. I can certainly understand how all that you deal with daily can be getting you down. It is difficult just to keep a positive outlook with the state of everything, but when you add how that is affecting the lives of your clients, it makes it even more difficult. Big hugs - I am thinking of you, even though it has been so long since I have stopped by.